Navigating the Political Climate During the Holidays
The holidays can be a tender mix of warmth and tension as loved ones gather, while also navigating stress, travel, expectations, and, often, significant differences in opinion.
In recent years, many of us have felt an increased sense of unease regarding politics, global events, and social issues. Even before we sit down to dinner, our bodies can sense the potential for conflict or disconnection.
This is not just in your head; it’s in your nervous system.
The Macro Meets the Micro: Why So Many of Us Feel Activated
We’re living in an age of near-constant stimulation: news cycles, social media debates, global uncertainty, and collective grief. On a macro level, our bodies are exposed daily to information that can feel overwhelming or threatening.
When that same energy collides with personal family relationships, history, identity, and belonging, the body interprets it as a potential safety threat.
You might notice:
A racing heart as political topics arise.
A sense of shrinking or freezing when a relative makes a hurtful comment.
Tightness in the chest, stomach knots, or the urge to leave the room.
These are not signs of weakness or hypersensitivity. They’re signs of a healthy nervous system responding to perceived danger — real or emotional. Our brains evolved to prioritize belonging and survival, so when that sense of belonging feels at risk, the stress response is activated.
Understanding the Nervous System’s Role
The autonomic nervous system (ANS) regulates our response to stress and safety.
It has two main branches:
The sympathetic branch: “fight or flight.” This helps us take action when danger arises.
The parasympathetic branch: “rest and digest.” This helps us feel calm, connected, and safe.
When conflict or tension arises, our sympathetic system often takes over — our bodies prepare to protect us. We might argue (fight), leave (flight), go numb (freeze), or appease (fawn).
Understanding this can help you shift from self-judgment (“Why do I always get so upset?”) to self-compassion (“My body is trying to protect me”).
Normalizing the Difficulty
It’s easy to assume everyone else is handling the holidays with grace, laughter, and emotional poise. In reality, most people are feeling something.
Many are anxious about family dynamics.
Others feel grief, loneliness, or guilt.
Some dread political conversations or emotional minefields.
Even therapists and “emotionally intelligent” individuals can feel dysregulated this time of year. We are social beings wired for connection and acceptance — and when those feel threatened, our systems respond.
There is nothing wrong with finding the season difficult. In fact, it means you’re attuned and human.
Step One: Awareness and Preparation
Before heading into any gathering, it can help to pause and check in:
Notice what’s already activated.
What emotions, stories, or anticipations are showing up in your body? You might feel a mix of anxiety, hope, irritation, or fatigue.Name what matters to you.
What are your intentions for the holiday? Peace? Connection? Protecting your energy? Naming your priorities can help guide decisions in the moment.
Plan ahead for known triggers.
If you know a certain relative loves to debate, think about how you want to respond (or not respond).
Sometimes just acknowledging the predictability of a situation (“Of course Uncle Jim will bring this up”) helps you prepare rather than react.
Step Two: Somatic Tools for Regulation
The body often needs support before the mind can reason. Here are a few tools you can use in the moment — or even before the gathering — to help regulate your nervous system:
1. Ground through your senses
Look for what’s neutral or safe in your environment:
Feel your feet against the ground.
Notice the temperature of the room.
Find something to visually anchor to (a candle flame, the pattern on a napkin, a soft sound).
This helps signal safety to your brain.
2. Breathe low and slow
When you exhale longer than you inhale, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
Try 4-6 breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6.
Repeat three to five times before you respond in a tense moment.
3. Orient to nature or movement
If you can, step outside.
Feel the air, smell fresh pine or snow, notice colors or sounds.
Even 60 seconds of orienting to your surroundings helps recalibrate your nervous system.
4. Gentle self-touch
Press your palms together or place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
This simple gesture communicates “I am here, I am safe.”
It can ground you when you start to feel flooded.
5. Create physical space
Sometimes the best regulation tool is simply stepping away.
Use the restroom, check on a pet, or help in the kitchen. Movement releases built-up adrenaline.
Step Three: Boundaries: The Compassionate Kind
Boundaries are not walls; they’re bridges that help you stay connected without losing yourself.
During the holidays, boundaries might look like:
Choosing not to engage in political debates.
Changing the subject gently (“I hear that’s important to you. I’d love to catch up about something lighter.”).
Limiting time at specific gatherings or staying in a nearby hotel.
Saying no to conversations or events that leave you emotionally depleted.
Here’s a useful reframe:
“I’m not being rude. I’m being responsible with my energy.”
Boundaries are acts of love for yourself and for your relationships. When we remain regulated, we’re more capable of compassion, even toward those with whom we disagree.
Step Four: Repair and Recovery
Even with preparation, things might get messy. You may freeze in the moment or later replay a conversation, wishing you’d said something differently. That’s okay. Repair can happen after.
Ground yourself after the event — take a walk, shake out your arms, breathe.
Reflect on what felt hard and what helped.
Reassure your body: “It’s over now. I’m safe.”
If needed, reconnect with someone you trust to process or decompress.
This helps the body complete the stress cycle rather than carrying it into the next gathering or the next year.
Step Five: Micro and Macro Resilience
On a micro level, resilience looks like those small moments of regulation — pausing, breathing, setting limits, or seeking support.
On a macro level, resilience looks like the ability to stay engaged with the world without burning out.
You might:
Limit your news intake to once a day.
Follow accounts that bring hope and grounded education rather than fear.
Stay involved in causes you care about while also protecting your energy.
We don’t have to choose between caring deeply and staying regulated. Both are possible.
Remember: You Don’t Have to Convince Anyone
One of the most freeing realizations is that you don’t need to change someone’s mind for your values to matter.
If you feel compelled to speak, do so with self-awareness and gentleness.
If you choose silence, that’s equally valid.
Sometimes peace looks like choosing presence over persuasion.
A Gentle Invitation
As you move through this season, notice what your body needs and what it’s communicating.
Notice when your system is saying, “Too much,” or when it whispers, “I need rest.”
Healing doesn’t mean we stop feeling — it means we learn to respond to our feelings with care.
Your nervous system is your ally, not your enemy.
This holiday season, may you find moments of warmth amid the noise, connection amid the difference, and self-trust amid uncertainty.
Because even in challenging times, your ability to return to center — again and again — is resilience.
